ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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