What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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