I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
