i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
