Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
