I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
