i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
