please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
