So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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