My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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