Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize