So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
