Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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