I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You did what with his pubic hair?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
