I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
