the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
