I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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