i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
