Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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