big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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