6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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