Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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