whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
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i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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