There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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