there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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