I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
