fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
