Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
