My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
