So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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