My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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