I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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