i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Green mimosas i think yes
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
