We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
