Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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