How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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