I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
