i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
