He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
