Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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