I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
