Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
