If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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