Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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