I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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