If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
