You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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