woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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