I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
