I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
