But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
