I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
