Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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