Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
