Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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