hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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