you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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