I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
